When you’re grieving, overwhelmed, or emotionally off-center, your marriage can feel the impact. In long-term relationships, stress has a sneaky way of pulling couples apart—unless you’ve built the tools to stay connected.
As a Relational Life Therapy (RLT) coach, I help couples shift from reactivity to repair, even in emotionally charged moments. Because the truth is, love isn’t just a feeling—it’s a daily choice. Especially in the hard times.
When You’re Not Your Best Self, Your Relationship Still Can Be
These past few weeks have been heavy. I’ve been grieving the loss of my beloved dog, Dakota, and just two weeks later, my mother passed away. I haven’t felt like my best self—and it’s shown up in my marriage.
I’ve caught myself withdrawing, snapping, arguing over things that didn’t matter. But here’s what I’m proud of: my husband didn’t meet me there. He didn’t take the bait. He didn’t argue back. He chose us.
He knows me well enough to see that when I pull away, I really need to be pulled in.
That’s the beauty of the work we’ve done together—our ability to recognize the moments that matter most, and choose connection over being right.
What Relational Life Therapy Teaches About Partnership in Crisis
In RLT, we talk about “moving from complaint to request” and speaking from the Wise Adult instead of the Wounded Child. But what happens when you can’t access your Wise Adult Self—because you’re in deep grief, anxiety, or overwhelm?
That’s when the strength of the relationship container holds you. My husband and I have a rule:
Only one of us gets to be the “messy one” at a time
The other becomes the steady one—not by fixing, but by staying grounded and connected
We choose closeness over control, softness over scorekeeping
And that rule? It works. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about choosing love when it counts most.
Let Go of “Me vs. You”—Choose Team Us
If your marriage feels like a power struggle, or if you’ve found yourself stuck in the same cycle of arguments, disconnection, or emotional distance, I want you to know: things can change.
But not by waiting for your partner to change first. It starts with one person making a different move—choosing love instead of winning, stepping closer instead of pulling away.
That’s what we practice in Relational Life Therapy. That’s what I teach..
💞 Want a Marriage That Feels Like a Safe Harbor? Let’s Talk.
You don’t need to keep spinning in the same fights, the same silence, the same distance.
Let’s spend 90 minutes together—no pressure, no judgment—just exploring what’s really going on in your relationship and how we can shift the dynamic from stress to connection.
🆕 New Clients: Schedule your free 90-minute couples coaching call.
🔁 Returning Clients: If it’s been less than 12 months, your original rate still applies. Book your next session here.
💌 Stay Connected: Sign up for my weekly newsletter for gentle tools, real-life stories, and relationship guidance.
💜 Explore: The Self Love Immersion, a 6-session private program designed to help women reconnect with their body, voice, and inner strength—because the way you love yourself shapes how you love your partner.
✨ Final Thoughts: Show Up With Love, Even When It’s Hard
You don’t have to be perfect to have a beautiful marriage. You just need willingness, presence, and a few new tools.
Let me show you what’s possible when you start choosing love—even in the hard moments.
You’re not alone. I’ve been there. And I’d love to help.
With love and steadiness,
Gail Tremblay
Marriage Mentor & Certified Relational Life Coach
