You have fireworks in your marriage?
This is my gentle reminder to you.
Resentment is a marriage killer.
Let go of your fierce attachment to “There’s something wrong”.
How?
Take a close look at what’s going on inside that mind of yours.
What are the things that you resent your spouse for?
Make a list.
Getting it out of your head and on paper can lessen that Velcro stickiness to those thoughts.
Read them aloud.
You may hear the lack of truth or the exaggeration that your mind likes to bring to a situation.
Or ask a friend – other than your spouse – to witness your list of complaint without comment or judgement.
Their job is simply to say, “Thank you” to acknowledge your words.
There is nothing to fix or change.
Simply getting the words out of your head is sufficient to begin the “unsticking” process.
Alone in your head, repeating over & over, these sentences, these strings of words appear very real indeed.
The resentful thought you are entwined with, may not be true at all.
As Byron Katie prompts in her inquiry process known as “The Work”,
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
How do you feel when you hang tight to that thought – “My partner should…” or “She’s always trying to control me.”
Does this thought help or hurt you – and your relationship?
Are you left feeling peaceful?
Or stressful?
Your goal:
Loosen the grip of thoughts that have no purpose other than to suck the love right out of you.
Another option is to use the other faucet.
Gratitude.
Resentment and gratitude cannot exist simultaneously.
Make a list of what you are grateful for with your spouse.
Feel that tap root of resentment and complaint loosen its grip around your heart.
Ask yourself what is it that you truly desire.
Rather than complaining and being resentful about (fill in the blank – housework, sex, finances, etc.) ask yourself, “What it is I really want?”
Re-direct all that frustrated, pissed-off, tornado-like energy and focus it to initiate a conversation about what it is you truly desire.
Nip that resentment in the bud before it explodes into your very own firework display.
Within long term committed relationships, there is no end to the situations that challenge you to become a better person.
Those situations where you get angry, or fearful, or jealous, or frustrated – or completely give up all hope.
They are all access points for your emotional and spiritual growth.
That’s why I’m such a strong believer in marriage and long term committed relationships.
Our marriages are our spiritual gurus.
Today is the day.
Go out and practice.
Let go of your fierce attachment to “There’s something wrong”.
Resentment is a marriage killer.
Do you know people who feel alone and discouraged in their marriages?
I help men and women to reignite the connection, passion and intimacy with their spouses again.
Let’s work together to up-level the happiness in your marriage.
You don’t have to do this work on your own any longer.
Click here to sign up for a consult call and learn how coaching with me can help bring back the fun, play and pleasure with your partner.
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If this email resonates with you, please forward this on to a friend who might benefit from it too.
Want more?
1. Click here to join my private Facebook group, The Pleasure Led Wife.
2. Private message me here with any questions about my 1:1 coaching program.
3. Sign up here for a free 60 minute Discovery Call. Find out how coaching with me can reignite that spark of emotional & physical connection.
Most important. Take care of you.
Here are 5 easy suggestions:
1. Get enough sleep. Establish a bedtime routine and follow it.
2. Get outside in nature every day. Rain or shine.
3. Appreciate what is wonderful in the world. Write 3-5 things you are grateful for each day.
4. Reach out to a sister. Call her once a week – or every day. Ask how she is and what she is feeling. Give her the space to release her feelings without any judgment or fixing.
5. Treat yourself to pleasure. Dance. Take a nap. Sing out loud. Read a novel. Soak in the tub. Do anything you want – just for the pleasure of it.
With all my love.
From my heart to yours.
Gail