The wives I speak with are full of frustrations, triggers and grievances.
Marriage is not an easy two-step dance of fall in love and all your dreams come true, end of story as we see in the movies and read in romance novels and fairy tales.
We know this but a large part of us still longs for the fantasy.
This may explain why Netflix’s Bridgerton is so popular.
Maybe our husbands will be our knights in shining armor, our prince, our hero.
Let me assure you, sometimes he is.
But what about the times that you think that he’s not?
What do you do with that electric current of anger as it flares up through your body when you are annoyed with whatever your mind is annoyed with?
Sometimes there’s nothing to do with your triggers, frustrations and grievances in your life and in your marriage but to let them flare up – and fizzle out.
3 things you can do immediately:
- Pause. That means stop.
- Close your mouth. Don’t torch your husband with that flame of anger – or whatever it may be.
- Inhale deeply. Release those frustrations with a long sigh and a shake of your body.
Once you have created a space between you and the trigger thought, take a closer look.
Notice your frustrations, triggers, and grievances.
Become aware of them.
Notice how that sensation feels in your body.
The tightening, or the heat, or the desire to lurch forward.
In whatever unique way it shows up in your body of expression.
Accept it. It is what it is.
Be with it. Feel it.
Allow it to flow through you.
In 30 seconds or so, it will pass, lessen or loosen.
I refer to this process as the Triple A process because of its 3 A’s.
Awareness. There it is again. That feeling of irritation or resentment or disappointment or failure.
Acceptance. Don’t judge yourself or try not to feel what you’re feeling, no matter how “ugly” or embarrassing the feeling may be.
Allowing. Allow the feeling to pass through you.
On my morning walk there’s a creek I visit with water gurgling pleasantly beside me.
This flowing water source reminds me of what allowing looks like.
Let the feeling flow through you like water in a creek.
You’re a human being. Vibrating.
You have frustrations, triggers and grievances every day.
Every single day.
This is the action to take. The Triple A Process.
The Triple A Process is an action.
Being Aware, Accepting & Allowing are actions.
You don’t have to DO anything.
No fixing, figuring out, analyzing or God forbid, adding to the story.
“You are a vibrator.” – Josh Pais
You’re going to feel frustrations, triggers, and grievances every day.
Try the Triple A Process and let me know what you experience.
I’d love to witness and lovingly guide you in your journey of opening your heart.
Let’s work together as married women in community to up-level the vibration of your life and in your marriage. Learn more about my approach here.
Click here to sign up for a consult call. Let’s discover if working together privately or in one of my groups can help bring back the fun and connection with your spouse.
Bonus: Here’s an interview of Marie Forleo and her husband, Josh Pais where they speak of emotions as vibrations.
Please forward this on to a friend who might enjoy it too.
Want to feel happier in your marriage?
1. Click here to join my private Facebook group, The Pleasure Led Wife.
2. Private message me here with any questions you might have about my private, group or couples’ coaching programs.
3. Apply here to get on the wait list for my Marriage Reconnect coaching program. New openings in June 2022!
4. Sign up here for a free 60 minute Consult Call. Let’s talk to see how working with me will reignite that spark of connection between you and your spouse.
5. Click here to learn more about the Marriage Reconnect program.
Most important. Take care of you.
Here are 5 easy suggestions:
1. Get enough sleep. Establish a bedtime routine and follow it.
2. Get outside in nature every day. Rain or shine.
3. Appreciate what is wonderful in the world. Write 3-5 things you are grateful for each day.
4. Reach out to a friend. Call that person once a week – or every day. Ask how they are and what they are feeling. Give them the space to release their feelings without any judgment or fixing.
5. Treat yourself to pleasure every day. Maybe every hour. Give yourself a hug. Dance. Take a nap. Sing out loud. Read a novel. Soak in the tub. Do anything you want – just for the pleasure of it.
With all my love.
From my heart to yours.