It Takes a Village

This is my gentle reminder to you.
Don’t do your relationship alone.

It takes a village to create a loving marriage.

I suggest to my clients to do the majority of work on their marriages solo – without their spouses.

What!?
Yes, you read that right.
Work on your marriage – without your spouse.

Why?

Because my clients need to first become aware of what they bring to the relationship.

Baggage from the past.
Beliefs learned from their parents.
Outdated or unrealistic expectations from the cultural conversation we swim in.
Hurts from previous relationships.

I work with my clients to clean up and get clear on everything that is theirs before they start working on what they think might belong to their partner.

After working on what is theirs, there’s not much left behind.

Why?

Because becoming aware of, accepting, allowing, and letting go of emotional detritus leaves a whole lot of newly discovered, empty space.

Space for compassion.
For yourself – and your spouse.

It’s like emotional de-cluttering.

It takes a village to improve a relationship.

My clients learn to share their thoughts on a regular basis with people who can support through listening and not by agreeing and adding fuel to the fire.

This can be with friends, acquaintances, a coach, or a combo – whatever works for you.

Years ago, I was working on improving a relationship that I had been complaining about every chance I could get.

When I finally realized that my non-stop complaining wasn’t helping my situation at all, I had to re-train my friends.

I asked them to show their love for me through listening without judgment.
And without jumping on the complaint bandwagon and agreeing with me.

You need listening and acceptance to let go of the fear and the anger layer by layer by layer.

It takes a village to improve a relationship.
Especially a marriage.

Find the people you can share your thoughts and feelings with.

Become aware of where YOU are and what YOU carry into the relationship.

You don’t need your partner to be part of that conversation.
He or she already knows the barbs of that conversation all too well.

Which people in your life can provide the space to listen to your thoughts without judgement?

The more you are aware of the fears and resentments that you bring into your marriage, then learn to accept and allow those feelings to be, the more you will release your attachment to these thoughts.

They aren’t serving you or your marriage.

Once you let go of fear and resentment, there’s room to create whatever unique expression of love and connection you’d like there to be between you and your spouse.

Be the one in your marriage to take the first step forward in the direction of a more loving connection between the two of you.

Go out and practice.
It takes a village to create a loving marriage.

Don’t do your relationship alone.

I help women who’ve been with their spouses for ten years or more, reclaim the connection, passion and intimacy in their marriages.

Would you like some help with creating more love and connection with your spouse?
I can help.

Click here to sign up for a free Discovery Call.
Tell me all of it. What are you bringing to your relationships?

This is what my clients have to say about working with me.

Click here to sign up for a Discovery Call and learn how coaching with me can make the difference you long for in your relationships.

If this email resonates with you, please forward this on to a friend who might benefit from it too.

Whenever you are ready, here are three things that you can do this week: 
1. Click here to learn more about me and my offerings on my website.
2. Private message me here with any questions about my coaching programs: Marriage Tune Up  & Marriage Rebuild: Get Your Motor Roaring.
3. Sign up here for a free 60 minute Discovery Call. Find out how coaching with me can get you unstuck and improve your relationships. 

Most important. Take care of you.

Here are 5 easy suggestions:
1. Get enough sleep. Establish a bedtime routine and follow it. 
2. Get outside in nature every day. Rain or shine. 
3. Appreciate what is wonderful in the world. Write 3-5 things you are grateful for each day.
4. Reach out to a sister. Call her once a week – or every day. Ask how she is and what she is feeling. Give her the space to release her feelings without any judgment or fixing.
5. Treat yourself to pleasure. Dance. Take a nap. Sing out loud. Read a novel. Soak in the tub. Do anything you want – just for the pleasure of it. 

With all my love.
From my heart to yours.
Gail