Marriage Reconnect

Do you feel lonely and discouraged in your marriage?

You’ve been married to your spouse for a while now. You’re invested in this marriage. Things used to be fun, exciting, loving — and you couldn’t keep your hands off each other.

Not so anymore.

Now you feel drained. Like it’s hard work. Where did the fun go?

Things have changed. Retirement. Kids moved out. The ongoing stress of the pandemic and then the war in the Ukraine.

Now, it’s just the two of you. Your relationship feels different. And that’s not a good thing.

Nothing in particular has happened, but if you look back, it used to be better. It’s been “off” for a while.

Maybe you don’t do anything together that’s fun anymore. Your interests are different. When you think about it, you realize you don’t share your thoughts and feelings with each other the way you used to. Or if you do, it’s just about the safe, shallow stuff — tidbits about work or the day to day scheduling and planning. Not about what really matters on a deep level.

When did this distance between the two of you start?

You’re just sort of lost in the routine of waking up, going to work, having dinner, going to bed. And doing it all over again the next day.

You feel taken for granted. The things you do around the house or for your spouse, don’t get appreciated. On some level, it’s like you’re not even there.

Or worse, the things you do are met with judgement. Or anger. Or some other negative reaction.

The walking on eggshells is exhausting. And the constant low-level flame of resentment is burning the love connection right out of your relationship.

The truth is you have too many years in this marriage to just throw it away.
And there’s too many years ahead of you to settle for what your marriage has become.

And yet, you love your spouse. Leaving him or her is not your first choice.
You’ve been together a long time. You’ve been through a lot. You used to have something really good between the two of you.

And you know, somehow, they can be good again. You just have no idea how to make that happen.

You’ve tried to make things better.

You feel a little better blowing off some steam with your friends or asking for their suggestions.

But you feel disloyal talking about your spouse to someone else, so you don’t say too much. And it’s embarrassing to tell them the details, so you only speak in generalities. Most of the time, when you do share with your friends, it feels better at first, but really, they just tend to commiserate and complain with you.

After you talk to them, you don’t feel much better. Not really. In fact, sometimes you feel worse.

You’ve considered couples counseling but your spouse won’t go. Therapy and personal development just aren’t their thing. And you know deep down if they are resisting it, it won’t work.

You’ve done some work on your own. You’ve tried meditation, prayer, breathwork, affirmations. You’ve read books. But nothing seems to take hold and make a difference.

But so far, it hasn’t been working.

There are reasons the things you’ve tried haven’t done the trick.

First, talking to friends can feel like a release of all the pent-up frustration and definitely helps in the moment. But it’s not a long-term solution. Your friends are your allies, which is great, but they’re biased. They see the situation through your eyes. Your friends may consider commiserating with you as the best way to show support.

And that doesn’t move you ahead and help you grow and change for the better.

Second, this stuff is hard to do by yourself. Relationships are complex and human behavior is not so easy to figure out.

You need someone who will listen to you without judgment. Someone who’s been professionally trained to examine thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and the impact those have on relationships. Someone who can teach you the tools and strategies to feel closer to your spouse.

In addition, doing the work on your marriage with someone who’s been in the same exact place as you, with someone who’s gotten their marriage out of the muck and back to a place of loving connection, that’s worth its weight in gold.

You will feel understood and have evidence that the change you want in your marriage can happen.

That’s why I created the Marriage Reconnect program, to give you the help you need to feel that fun and loving connection with your spouse again.

Who is this program for?

This program is for people who feel alone and discouraged in their marriages and who want to feel connected with their spouses again in a loving and fun way.

This program is also for you if you:

Who is this program not for?

My coaching work is not for everyone.
This program is probably not a good fit for you if you are:

Gail is a gem of a coach.

She has helped my wife and I navigate conflict within our relationship while simultaneously supporting us to explore effective ways to infuse the relationship with joy, juiciness, and honesty. Gail knows how to listen and is thorough and professional in her craft.

Simeon D. / Ann Arbor, MI

I’ve gained confidence to take risks, knowing that I’ll be able to deal with the outcomes.

Fear had me stuck for a very long time. Gail helped me unearth all the ways I’ve been sabotaging myself. She has wonderful insight and has made a huge difference in my life. Gail’s coaching freed me from the muck I’d been slogging in for a very long time. The context from which I view the world is more exciting and inspiring after our work together.

Liz K. / Ithaca, NY

How long will it take before things get better?

The truth is it takes some time for the resonance of your marriage to change. How long have you been in this rut?

It won’t get better overnight.

Some results happen quickly. Your partner will be surprised and delighted with some of your changes of behavior or responses. It’s like you two are dancing — and you changed up one of the move.

She or he is going to do their best to respond to the new move.

That’s where the changes will happen. Some of the transitions in your marriage
will feel graceful. Others will appear awkward.

Some couples I’ve worked with have welcomed the transformation in their marriages with ease. Other clients have shared feeling uncomfortable in trying out new behaviors.

On average with my clients, I see the beginnings of a change within four sessions and a deeper, more predictable, deeper connection in three months’ time.

But can you really help me?

I know. You think it would take a miracle to get your marriage back on track.

You’ve tried everything. And no matter how hard you try, you just can’t figure your way back to that enjoyable, loving connection.

There are a lot of days when you think your situation is hopeless.

It’s not.

I have proof that reviving your marriage is possible. I’ve helped many people reclaim a loving connection with their spouse after considering divorce, after having had affairs, and after feeling the lows of resignation and despair. These clients felt just like you — that the daily toll of the marriage far outweighed the benefits big time.

I want to let you know that I’ve been there, too, and I found my way back to a loving, fun and playful marriage.

So, yes I can help you.

But you do have to do the work.

I can help you if you are willing to
be honest with yourself, with me, and with your spouse.

I can help you if you are willing to experiment and try new things that might be different from the way you’re used to doing things.

I can help you if you are willing to examine your thoughts, feelings and actions.

You may feel discouraged about your marriage right now but if you bring your willingness, honesty and curiosity to this program you can return the fun, playfulness and joy back to your connection with your spouse.

This program can help you:

focus on changing what you can change — you — rather than trying to change something you can’t change — your spouse
let go of resentment in a way that is healthy for you
learn how to ask for what you want so you can get the support you need from your partner
love and accept your partner just the way they are
access your own emotional resources for fun and pleasure
learn how to receive love from your spouse
add positive energy to your marriage
connect with your spouse in a fun and playful way

There has been a shift, not only in my marriage, but in other relationships as well.

Gail led me to recognize that we are each on our path AND that we have chosen to share that path with the other. I am finding that each day finds another opportunity to practice the tools to affirm myself and to strengthen my marriage relationship.

Gary S. / Ellenboro, NC

Gail never fails to hear in me, what I can’t necessarily hear in myself.

She will listen, validate, and offer observations that have me feel at once lighter and more focused. I always feel more intentional when I get off the phone. I highly recommend Gail as a coach.

Drew C. / Boulder, CO

Putting the focus on you

This is the magic sauce. The secret ingredient to your happy marriage.

At first glance, it doesn’t make sense.

You might think you need to do more things together. Have a date night, schedule time for deep conversations to put it all on the table and hash it all out.

But no.

Instead, when you focus on you and take responsibility to replenish yourself, you bring a full and revitalized self to your spouse. That takes a lot of pressure off your spouse and brings fun, play and connection to your relationship.

When you look within instead of looking out at your partner or out at your relationship, you will find the old hurts or misinformation you need to resolve and you will learn what lights you up to bring fun and zest to your life. When you focus on you, you will find that you do far less of what causes you pain and much more of what brings you joy.

Does coaching really work?

Coaching works. I have evidence. In my clients’ marriages — and in my own. I am a firm believer in coaching. I have a coach I work with on a regular basis who helps me untangle the knots that my human mind gets into.

A coach will listen and help you get unstuck and move forward. Often we forget our goals and our good intentions. We get distracted and go back to our old patterned ways of thinking, feeling and doing.

A coach is there for you, as a guide to prevent you from getting lost. Having a regularly scheduled time with a coach helps you keep checking back to where you are today on a specified issue, with an eye on where you want to be. A coach keeps you on the path to where you want to go and applauds the progress you are making along the way.

I’ve been married to my husband for 24 years. It hasn’t all been daisies and rainbows, with boxes of chocolates and roses. There was a long period of time that I wasn’t “all in.” I questioned whether my spouse was “the right partner” for me. My marriage just didn’t match the fairy tale picture I had in my mind.

My parents divorced when I was 12. I didn’t have a front row seat to witness a loving, supportive marriage to use as a template for my own marriage. I knew what disappointment, anger and resentment looked like.

I didn’t know what connection and loving intimacy in a marriage was — or could be. I had to experiment and invent it for myself.

I read a lot of books, attended a lot of workshops and invested in a lot of training. And I got myself a coach who could help me with my marriage.

Now, I want to bring my experience and coaching skills to help you create a better connection with your spouse.

Why I coach

I’m called to do this work because I believe in marriage. We live in a time where the definition and purpose of marriage has changed dramatically from the time of our parents and grandparents. Today you can create a marriage that is your own unique expression of the love and devotion you have for each other.

Marriage is a commitment between two people to find the balance of connection and freedom with love.

I want to share the tools and processes that I’ve used that have changed my life from feeling lost and alone in my marriage, to having a vibrant, fully self expressed life with my husband.

Certified Professional Coach

In January of 2017, I enrolled in an intensive training and certification program at Martha Beck, Inc., and became a Certified Martha Beck Life Coach at the end of the year. My style of coaching integrates mind, body and spirit in a direct and intuitive manner to dissolve thoughts, release feelings and take action to create the results you want to achieve. Since becoming a certified life coach, I’ve spent hundreds of hours coaching clients who want to make changes in their lives and marriages.

Before becoming a certified Life Coach, I assisted with the staff development
of the organization in which I served as Technology Director as a certified facilitator of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.” I often draw upon this foundation of work, as I help clients learn the tools to prioritize and
focus on what really matters to them.

Marriage and personal development veteran

In addition to my training and years of experience coaching clients, my own marriage of 26 years gives me wisdom, insight and successes to help guide my clients as they struggle and grow in their own marriages.

I bring three decades of learnings from my inner work and personal development where I engaged in therapy and coaching practices to unravel my addictions with marijuana, alcohol, food, relationships and over busy-ness.

I have over a decade of experience with transformational learning and ontological education and close to 3 years assisting in these programs. In addition, for the past five years I have assisted and guided groups of women in the exploration and expression of sensual and sexual pleasure.

What’s included?

This program is designed to support you fully. It includes:

INVESTMENT: $1,800

Payable either in one single payment of $1800 USD or three (3) payments of $600 USD.

Are you ready for a Marriage Reconnect?

If you are a “YES!” let’s get started.
I’m excited! Follow the three steps below:

Step 1
Click the “Apply Now” button below to answer a few questions so I can get to know a bit about you, your marriage and what you’d like to get out of coaching with me.

Step 2
Once your answers have been submitted, I’ll contact you to schedule an initial conversation to make sure we’re the perfect fit. I’ll describe the Marriage Reconnect program and answer any questions you might have before you commit.

Step 3
We’ll schedule our sessions, talk about payments and logistics. Then we’ll get started!

If you decide not to work with me or if we’re not the perfect fit, I’m happy to point you to other resources to help you get what you need.

Refund policy

Choosing a personal life coach is an important decision. I offer an initial risk-free Discovery Call so we can make sure that we are a good match. I don’t offer refunds, so please make this commitment with care.

Are single sessions available?

Sometimes people reach out and ask if they can have a single session with me. While big things can happen in a single session, the knots in your marriage were not created and tightened in one hour. It will take more than an hour to see the big picture and understand the dynamics going on in your marriage. We often have several challenges that have become interwoven and we need time to identify, loosen and unravel those issues.

I’m not able to give people the help they truly need in a single session, so I don’t do it.