When was the last time you truly honored yourself—not out of duty, but from love?
If you’re in a long-term committed relationship and wondering why you feel disconnected or resentful, here’s something powerful to consider: deepening your connection to yourself can radically shift your relationship.
In Relational Life Therapy (developed by Terry Real), we know that true intimacy begins with self-awareness. When you slow down and begin to love and trust yourself, your energy changes—and your marriage shifts with it.
Self-Love Is Not Selfish—It’s Foundational to a Healthy Marriage
There’s something magical about self-love: it doesn’t just stay inside you. It radiates.
I’ve seen it in my own life and in the lives of my clients. A daily practice of slowing down, touching your body with tenderness, and speaking kindly to yourself? It changes how you show up in every room, in every conversation, and most importantly—in your relationship.
When you’re rooted in your own worth, you stop relying on your partner to make you feel lovable. You begin to relate from your Wise Adult Self, not from your inner child or from resentment.
Relational Life Therapy and the Practice of Inner Connection.
One of the core teachings in RLT is this: “You can’t have relational empowerment without personal empowerment.”
Translation?
If you’re not connected to yourself, you’ll struggle to connect meaningfully with your partner. You’ll react from wounds instead of responding from truth.
Self-love is what allows you to:
- Set healthy boundaries without guilt
- Communicate without blame or collapse
- Regulate your nervous system in moments of conflict
- Bring more softness and openness into intimate moments
It’s not indulgent. It’s essential.
A Simple Self-Love Practice to Shift Your Energy Today
Try this now—just for a minute.
- Place your hand gently over your heart or belly
- Close your eyes and take a deep breath
- Say softly to yourself:
“I’m here.”
“I adore you.”
“You matter.”
This moment of tenderness may seem small. But it’s how we begin to rebuild trust with ourselves—and that trust is what allows us to show up differently in our relationships.
Why This Matters in Long-Term Relationships
In marriage, it’s easy to get stuck in “you vs. me” thinking. But when you reconnect with yourself, you move into a space of “us.”
From that grounded place, you can communicate with more clarity, ask for what you need without blame, and stay open even in hard conversations.
This is how real intimacy is built: one tender, intentional moment at a time.
💞 Ready to Deepen Your Connection—with Yourself and Your Partner?
If this resonates with you, I’d love to offer you a free 1-on-1 “Love Yourself” session. It’s a gentle, guided experience designed to help you reconnect with your body, your confidence, and your sense of self.
This is more than self-care. This is relational empowerment.
Work With Me: Begin Your Self Love Journey or Reconnect as a Couple
🆕 New Clients: Start with a free 90-minute couples coaching session or a “Love Yourself” intro session. I’ll guide you in slowing down and tuning in—individually or as a couple.
🔁 Returning Clients: If you’ve worked with me in the last 12 months, I’ll honor your original pricing. Book your next session here.
💌 Stay Connected: Join my weekly newsletter to receive practical tools, stories, and reminders to nourish your relationship and yourself.
💜 Explore: The Self Love Immersion, a 6-session private coaching journey into body love, self-trust, and relational presence.
✨ Final Thoughts: Let the Love Ripple Outward
When you choose to love yourself—not conditionally, not later, but now—everything shifts.
You become more grounded. More open. More resilient.
And the people around you will feel it—especially your partner.
Let your self-love ripple outward. Let it strengthen the foundation of your relationship.
You deserve that. And so does your marriage.
With love, trust, and the deepest belief in you and your journey,
Gail Tremblay
Marriage Mentor & Certified Relational Life Coach
