What You Get is What You See

Try this experiment.

Think good thoughts about your spouse.

Look for the good in your spouse.

See when they are doing the right thing.

Where they contribute.

When they don’t say something negative.

The first step to improve your marriage is in your mind.

Remember: your thoughts are not facts.

Your thoughts are stories.

Stories you tell yourself

– and you believe are true.

You are going to make up a story about your marriage.

What is the story you are telling yourself today?

Make the story a good one.

Not a lie.

Shine the light on your spouse’s strengths rather than their faults.

The first step to improve your marriage is to think good thoughts about your spouse.

Appreciate the hell out of the person you chose to marry.

TASK: Write a full page of things you like, appreciate or adore about them.

What they look like, things they do, how they take care of themselves, the way they walk, what a great parent they are, how kind they are to their mother…

Write it all down.

Notice how you feel while you are thinking these thoughts.

You don’t need to share your list with your spouse. You don’t have to tell them what you appreciate about them.

We will do that in a later exercise.

This change is all about you. Your thoughts.

This is a 100% inside job.

Experiment. Do this for several days. Just you and your mind.

Think good thoughts.

To upgrade your marriage, you don’t have to change your actions, you know – schedule date nights, wear lipstick, or cook their favorite meals.

You may choose to do any one of those things later –if that brings you pleasure and makes you happy.

(I’ll come back to those topics in the upcoming blog posts:  “Actions to Improve your Marriage” and “Your Job is to Make You Happy”.)

First thing to change to improve your marriage is your thinking.

And what you will get – is what you will see.

Want some help to re-write the story of your marriage?

Are you ready to go from housemate to soul mate with your spouse?

My coaching program can upgrade your marriage from just good to just great!

Schedule a call with me here.

This is a free call where I will listen to you describe your dreams and desires for your marriage. We will discuss the obstacles that prevent you from creating the great marriage that you long for.

If  you are curious, I will describe my coaching program and how we can work together.

This is NOT a sales call.

Schedule your good to great marriage conversation with me here.